Mercy, Mercy

 



Mercy

Truth is we’re just

as lost today (though

the terrain has changed)

as we were those nearly

twenty years ago

trying to find

our way to a new

baby they’d taken

ninety plus miles


a   w     a     y

intubated 

incubated & mildly

sedated to discover

what the trouble was.

And because interiors

are not obvious

obviously

it would be weeks

of seeing you

thrive then quietly

decline, cry like quiet

babies quietly dying cry and then

draw your blessed 


caul about your eyes

and somehow die

and somehow live on

in the beneath of it.

And I thought

maybe you’re trying

on this mantle of skin I made

for you the way metal tries

on the fire the way

 

the hand that guides

it into the blue

coals must be a master’s

hand and let the earth

do what the earth

will do and has done long

before we even came into

this mix of star

and igneous stone.

maybe you’d waver

maybe you’d settle

maybe you’d be

in flux no matter

what existence you chose

though all along and from

the beginning i sense you didn’t

know if you wanted

to keep it this

the bone and muscle

and tongue and two perfect

lungs to breathe it all

in.  but you did.  we walked

all those hallways

and became friends

with the strangers

on the pavement

several floors below us.  Brief

interludes.  A one-night stand

in a plethora of one night

stands.  The NICU

was never quiet but it was

always hushed especially

at night when we new

mothers and the not new

mothers were cuddling

their sons or daughters

when the doctors & residents

on rotation made their way

to each clear plastic

cradle and read charts

while I read some silly

story to you about a chicken

that’s all I remember

today the bright book

I bought in the hospital

store on the ground floor

& thought it doesn't matter

you can’t know book or

word.  it matters you can sleep

in the presence of reading.

right? and sense

some spell being sown

and watch the lips quiver

caster and breaker both

a delivery

of words that walk

out of my mouth

and continue walking

down the hallways of

your brain as ululations

as tempers as heads

in dress of plumage

bright enough to stand

out in the world

you're in and stabilize

me, and by some mercy, thee.




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